January 15, 2008

In and Out in the Blink of an Eye

One of the things thats been bothering me since I've been in Perth is that I don't seem to have much of a social life. In London, it was easy. Pubs galore. In fact, Ealing has been long considered to pubs what Las Vegas is to casinos. For example, Castle to Red Lion to Kings Arms to The Green to Park View to Old Orleans to Edwards to North Star to Townhouse... and that's just the ones I remember. Of course, it wasn't all about pubs. I had TBO and J, Kalistro and TNN, and ex-work mates. All in all, I had a varied social calendar.

In Perth, though, it just revolves around Elsha's family. Which isn't a bad thing by any means, but I do wish I could get out and about by myself and meet new people.

So, over the past 2 months, I've been trying to get myself inserted into a roleplaying group. And I pretty much succeeded when last Saturday, I ended up in a group rolling up a Dwarf Fighter. Yay.
But then came the bad news. They wanted to meet up next week. And the week after, and a week after that. In fact, they wanted to meet EVERY week.

Now, I'm not sure about you, but there are some things I like to do on weekends. Go to the cinema, go shopping, laze around the house, etc. Sometimes, I don't want to go roleplaying. So I politely told them that I wasn't really able to commit to an "every week" kind of thing.

At which point I got forced out of the group and into the sidelines. Of course, no one actually forced me but the silence started to become unbearable. I have to say, 5 hours in a group is a new world record for me, especially since I have to say I was probably the second only experienced player there.

So now I'm back to looking for a new group. Hopefully one that actually lets its players spend time on weekends doing things other than roleplaying.


TNN said...

It is always difficult to make new friends. Some people find it easy, but they are the naturally outgoing types. Others take more time, but the bonds made are very strong.

I'm discovering like you, that the older we get, the more relaxed we become around people, which has an odd reaction to how we make friends. We know more about what works for us, and what doesnt, so we dont spend too much time on risky bets. Instead we spot the opportunities that are the right fit and spend time on those.

All you need to realise is that you are able to know instinctively those persons you will get along with more easily than others. Social circles grow more organically for us now, but they are just as enjoyable.

Not sure about roleplaying circles, but pretty sure you just need to interact with more groups until you find that one which matches your view. It will exist...

Capn John said...

I think you erred in looking at a group/club with a regular schedule but I'm going to assume most RPG clubs are going to be like this.

Just as a thought, have you looked at sports like Archery or Golf, that you can do by yourself, or get involved with other people if you desire.

When I lived in Australia I was a member of an Archery Club that met on Saturdays, but you had no obligation to go every Saturday if you didn't want to. When you did go you could set up and shoot by yourself, or you could announce your intention to shoot a certain round and see if anyone wanted to join you.

I find Golf is very similar to Archery in this respect, although unlike Archery I don't have to join a golf club to play there. In Archery's defense there's more liability & insurance issues to consider, and reputable Archery clubs will (should) let you come along for a few weeks before asking you to sign on the dotted line. Although usually if you've come back three times it's a sure sign you want in ;)

Now when I play golf I can either shoot a round by myself, or I can check at the Pro Shop if there's a threesome looking for a fourth. If I do get into a foursome, at the end of the round there's no commitment or obligation to come back the same time next week.